Monday, May 19, 2008

Tension -Tensions

I dont know how to start about , just feeling really pressurized 2day . I have this khoobi of
getting tensed really easily ( usually wen i'm alone) & then am not able to do anything . Thats what happens everytime b4 the xams. I know that I do well in most of the sems , tests etc but somehow.....
Add to that the fact that I'll b 21 nxt month . Not much of problem till now . But recently , thanks 2 my own pigheadedness , i made my mom read that "mum 4 u " post . ( maybe i was feeling xtra daughterly that day !!! ) . of course she liked that 1 & was really happy but that is when the problem started !!!! She read the rest of the blogs too !!!! & now she has a SUSPICION if I have a bf or not !!!!! all that becoz of mention of certain guys !
Gosh moms can be soo....... problematic . bro sed " mom was going through ur msgs yesterday "
all i could do was "hahahhahahahaa" . sad or silly it may sound but most of sms's are from girls or guys regarding study & al that . sample : " bring analog communication xerox" , " come 2 canteen - saheli " . Such is my state !!! U know i think I'll enact the ad from virgin mobiles wr that girl very charismatically sez " ladko me koi interest nahi hai" & her folks suddenly think abt almost everything other than what is right .
Tension no 2 which is actually of more importance than the above heebi- jeebies . The maha SEms !!! oof initially they wr to be held on 10 june , but due to some godforsaken (!) intervention it may start from 3rd june . The only silver lining is that maybe my birthday may just be saved from the storm of sems . Actually i shud'nt be tensed much but again i keep reminding me of last sem results ( very snobbish of me too think of it as low , i know) . its like only a week left & have loads to do . analog ckts sir hasnt even done justice 2 the syllabus :( .!!!
& last but not the least , last week i hit a guy who happened to be a friend , very hard on the head ,. however cool i acted then about the whole matter , citing jokes & saying ' he's behaving like a girl , sulking so long " & all that , but the guilt is slowly creeping in . Gosh !!!! I have hit people b4 ( no im not mental ) - in class 8 -slapped a guy real hard for a very correct reason - its become something of a school legend there , but havent really hurt anybody without reason but i hope everything will be fine this time .
Anyways gotta do lot now , (wish me luck for enacting that ad ) hehe

Thursday, May 15, 2008

10 upon 10

This tag is courtesy solitary bliss
10 Things That I MIss :-
i'll write them in order they appear in my head
1. all my old schools . in each of these places i'v made friends who were as dear to me then as esha & saheli r now & i miss all of them .

2. AEIE classmates.

3.There was a time wen i had loads of books - stories, novels , comics etc. & wud spend many leisurly noons & nights reading them . I wish i cud get that free time back.

4.My first diary. the one in which i wrote in english.As far as i remember i was the 1 who threw it wen mom discovered it.

5.The cakes & cookies mom baked . thanx to the advent of microwave u dont get the lovely brown rust u used to from ovens .

6.From tv i wish theyd show reruns if not nu seasons of remix, hip hip hurray, small wonder.

7.I used to paint in school . hated the drawing classes in school coz they usually made us do boring stuff like scenries or scene at railway station , but I used 2 paint at home , untaught , uninterrupted . Soon after class 12 the paint box dried up & somehow havent been able 2 get back to it.

8. How could i forget Mathematics . this sem we had none , I'll surely miss the assured O from that subject . Not only that , i fell in love with this subject in class 9 & not having to do even 1 sum in the last 6 months !!! that was tough ;)

9.a pimple less face ( teeheee hheee heee )

10. & last but not the least the only outdoor sport i really liked playing - badminton - u know i was really good while i played it :)

& Now The 10 Things That I Wish to Achieve in the Next 10 Years
I usually dont wish for many things at a time , but , i set goals to be completed within a period of time. So here they are :-
1. To learn driving within the next 5 months.

2. Get a 9pt atleast once in the remaining 3 years of college.

3.Success - within exactly 10 years .

4.A tension free personality

5. To curb my long orkut hours everyday, sometimes i sit there just without doing anything.

6. In the 10th year a boyfriend ( maybe i'll be ready for commitment by then hehehhehhe)

7.visit all the areas my dad had been posted & make a picture album out of it.

8. make every near & dear ones & maybe some friends also ,to develop the habit of not throwing
anything on the roads - not even bus tickets.(I'm maniac about that )

9. buy a supercool chota car like the one saif had in salaam namaste.

10.To learn the trick of leaving one's hair open without feeling the heat :)

Sunday, May 11, 2008


I know this wud be most typical to write about my mom 2day , but i can't help it ;)

ma got married wen i w0nt even think of it -23 & 3 yrs later she had me .more than half of the things that i'll write now will start with "ma sez". So , ma sez wen i ws a kid as in 1- 2 yrs ,she thought of me as her protector, as a friend , as some1 wit whom it wud b nice to spend time wit :) . Dad was'nt there most of the time , so we were kind of companions liviing in the same house .

Being the 1st kid i was pampered so much that i wud'nt leave mummy evn 4 1 sec always crying mummy mummy evn if she wud like make me sit 4 a min or so :) .
Then my bro came along but not 4 a moment did i feel anything less in her love for me - evn though as ma sez i was very angry at everybody wen i saw a nu baby besides "my" ma . I'm sorry 4 wat i did back then knowing not that rony wud be som1 whom i'd luk upto.I think she was the one who taught my bro to call me as "didi" a practise he has still not left . She made a Big sister - a person of authority - a person whom my bro would have to follow no matter what - all this wen i was 2yrs :) some may feel , that as too much of a burden for a bacchi , but i never felt that way (she made it feel very natural) .

she was the 1 who taught me to write & read - grasping my tiny lil fingers into hers & making the curves which wud last wit me 4 a lifetime . I still remember how she taught me fractions ( with cake ka eg.) & greater than , lesser than ( big fish eats small fish) .The nuances she taught me while story tellig competions still help me even nw.

Every time I fell she would wipe my tears & prod me to stand up again , wenever i'd write january as janury she'd tell me to correct it & practise it 10 times . Did i say she was strict? hehe
That she was , but no doubt that was for our betterment only.
One gr8 thing about my parents is that they have never forced me into doing anything - later in life they never told me to study or go out n play . If i wanted to spend my summer hols playing & watching TV indoors they had no objections . Unlike them I'm almost no good in sports , but wen u r a teenager u want 2 prove that ya u r better than ur folks . & I started that 4rm cls 5 , so every summer i'd take out my bicycle & try to learn cycling ( hopeless job) & tirelessely throughout the years ma helped me , not 1ce saying " arre koto baar try korbi " or "leave it y waste time" .Never as a teen do i remember her telling me " hey boards r coming up , study hard " or " hey go out n play make more friends !" . She just let me be me.

She's a working mom - as a kid i'd hear in school some other kids saying very pompously " my mom is a housewife - not a working 1" . Could'nt really get it wat made them look down upon children who had a office mom. Only later did i realize that they thought it was abnormal 4 a mom 2 b working either coz they thought that working moms r in families wr dads can't provide enough or wr children are deprived of love & grow up to be some kind of gangsters . Now I don't even want 2 justify them , coz i know my ma has been with me in every step of my life & will be there not just going 2 kitty parties or watching serials ( sorry i dont have anything against homemakers but if there is a sect vich thinks of working moms as derogatory then there can also b a sect vich'll think 'bout them like this) - I believe every woman has there on own capabilities - whether housewife or working one they should take pride in whatever they do.

You should'v seen her wen i passed my boards , she was literally so happy that she was almost jumping all over the house & calling up every1 she knew. :)

Now I'm 20 & we have become more of friends something i would'nt have thought possible 5 yrs back ! , we go out 2 shop , select clothes 4 each other , discuss about heroes , yes & now she's learning maths from me ( have succesfully taught her pythagores theorem & logarithm :) ) .She still pampers me , coz if my day has gone all wrong i know wen mum'll come back she'll give me a tight hug & make everything right.

We all have hated our mothers at some point of time - & some of us have also shouted " I hate u mom" ( weeping at the same time ) . But inside our hearts all of us know how much we love her . we may leave them bak & find new shores . But feel lonely & by some telepathy she calls u up . she'll b the 1 still worrying whether u'v had ur meals @ the right time , or slept right , going out wit the right kind of people & mixing wit "proper" guys or not , hhehhehhehe, even wen ur 40 . That's wat mums do - they build u , they make u - thye take charge of u then let u fly away from them wen the time comes always supporting with all their love.


Friday, May 2, 2008


"Hate Is... Hate is a feeling that boils with rage.

Hate is a feeling you lose with age.

Hate is a feeling that eats inside.

Hate is a feeling we all should hide. "

All of us love to talk about the thing we love in people , what we like in others or rather how we would like people to channge for us. This want to change people comes from our hatred of a few traits in them .

Thanx saheli for letting me think & write aout what i hate in people after a long time.


1. molesters, rapists, terrorists- the types who dont even spare 7 yr kids , senior citizens & so on . & people who try to save them top my list of hated people . this is in memory of the sad incident of murder of scarlett , it was awful how the goa police put all the blame on bad parentship on her mother. I frankly think that such people should be shot dead the moment they come in human inhabited areas.

2. there is breed of humans which pretends to be know all but are not . point in case I have no qualms about those who really know , but against those who dont & yet in desperate attempt to show off ask feeble questions like " hey sir , the transisitor that u have drawn , uska base width is 1mm less than emitter & that's wrong "

3. guys or girls who can flirt with whoevr & whomever , having no standards . & more so the idiots who laugh on the equally pakao jokes as if its the last joke on earth.

4. infidelity , dhoka , saying 1 thing & doing absolutely the opposite turns me off . OK u may fall out of love , or out of an agreement but atleast have the decency to tell the other that it's not working any more b4 taking a drastic step.

5. People who whole heartedlly take credit for what they have not achieved ie aam koi aur ugaye & koi aur khaye . this is in view of them especially who cheat in exams ( mind u i know the pressures of being an engg, student too well & i know ki in 4 yrs of engg. its ok to do that )

but later on keep on criticizing others marks as if they wr einstein's puttars. Again i dont have anything against cheating or rather ektu dekhano ;) , but those who after a full blown "lukin into the others copy" taunt those who cudnt do the same as them !

Ending this post on happy note however, there is another kind of hate , the type where opposites attract at first they seem to hate everything about each other .

"Only...when I...start to think...about you...

I knowOnly when you...start to think...about me

Do you know...

I...hate everything about you I love you?

You...hate everything about me you love me?" - 3 DAYS GRACE ( this song almost sums up the last thought)


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Thursday, May 1, 2008


DLF IPL - a new introduction to the world of Indian cricket . yes it did seem a lil weird that our players were being "auctioned" as if they wr things! Also the resulting division of our country according to it's states, also our players would play with rivals from Australia ,New Zealand & Pakistan . I must admit it did feel really ajjeeeeeeeeb that time that such a thing could ever happen . I was thinking that how wud these players who till now had played with each other would play against themselves . Whatever would happen would have to be seen .

Shah Rukh Khan had purchased the Kolkata team which was to be led by Sourav Ganguly. SRK personally looked into all the needs of the players giving them treatment fit for kings or rather knights . Black & gold sexy uniforms , cheerleadrs , leading brands like Tag Heur , Nokia, Reebok etc as sponsors , theme song by pritam & what not . Aptly named KOLKATA KNIGHT RIDERS , the attitude & josh was feverish.

Soon the team had a two match win . when they won the opening match against the Bangalorean Team it was taken as an omen that nothing could go wrong with the king's men . SRK by far was & is the best cheerleader a team could get . from bringing almost every known celebrity to cheer for his - our team , yes these were the people who go to the alps in March coz then it's too hot in India for them :). & these wr the people cheering hoarsely & wildly :)

anywhere u went in cal u could hear the anthem " korbo lorbo jitbo re , ami kolkata we rule"

From mashima's , college grls , call centre people , papa's & mummies every 1 was hooked on to these matches . & all of them would proudly say " ami KKR der support korchi "

& then sadly & uncalled for came the losses the 1st one against chennai super kings . all news channels promptly jumped the gun & started discussing that " What wen t wrong" finally every1 thought oh well so what ? it's only 1 loss , we'r sure they'll win in their home ground - @ EDEN .

perked up & tense the whole city waited with baited breath for the KKR's to smash the Mumabai Indians - a team which was yet to taste an IPL victory. The stadium was packed so much that it seemed that it wud burst at the seams :) . it was almost like a national holiday at our college coz more than half o' the guys bunked :)

But Alas ! future had something else in store for us . lets just put it in this way - The Mumbaites were happy .

the thing about people in kolkata is that they cant let a game be just a game the play it with their hearts & evena small failure hits them - quite hard . Among all the 12 IPL teams only kolkata knight riders have a fan club which actually functions . MOst of the spectators wear the black & gold team jersey wit no 12 on it which is same as what SRK wears . He is said to be the unofficial 12th man of the team . after this 2nd loss , we were shatterd , disappointed & what not .

The following morning a write up on the front page of the Times OF India went as " He dressed all the cricketers in some kind of black & golden outfits, brought bimbo cheerleaders , & kept on cheering enthusiastically , but SRK did not realize that all that glitters is not gold , Maybe he should have tried harder ......... "

Are these people idiots??? 1 day they make a man to be god like saying things like " oh he's really lucky " , " surely KKR will win the finals" , " SRK always wins & sees that no1 fails him" !~!!!!!!!

& the next second they trash him saying he bimbo cheerleadrs wr his idea , 7 god knows what . MInd you i'm not some gr8 SRK fan & actually have never liked his ( over) acting except in swades .

But atleast give the guy some respect yaar. Personally , i dont think that he ever went upto Sourav & co . & said " yaar aj plz achhe se mat khelna hehhehhehe " .

This is what the media does to people . When they r @ the top of things they write paens abt them . but the moment failure kisses ur head , journos go wild trying to push the blame .

But again who am i talking about Media & journos wen i very well knw that now more than half of the people have given up on KKR . & mind u i'm talking about those who wud say " ha 4rm kolkata that's y jeetche" , but now or sooner will say " arre ami to age thekei jantam " or " arre ye sab TEam INdia ko divide karne ka nateeja hai" . It is sad , but i wish we wudnt change sides so often . Even we wish that those who support us wud forever do that . i wish our support wud not depend on winning or losing too.

So how many of us will support KKR in their nxt match ? as enthusiastically as b4 ? wear black & gold? fill up eden ? & sing again " KORBO LORBO JITBO RE ,. AMI KOLKATA , WE RULE "