Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Realist

I have always prided myself on being a realist, someone who has always had her head strongly on her shoulders, who knows what she is , who can interpret other people and their reactions fairly well , I never really splurge on myself , scarcely let my parents pay for me , am perfectly perfect with my words around guys , never been caught on the wrong foot  the whole gamut.

But you know what? Somewhere heart of heart, I hate being a realist! So there are times when I slip into wishful thinking and imagine what if I could have been more of a dreamer , what if I couldve been exactly like what I dream of ....

To start off I surely wouldn't be working a 9-7 job, I would be doing something with a fancy name like "interior designer" ,  " a modern age relationship fixer" , or someone who just gets paid to party .. not mentioning a certain Miss Hilton here :P
I obviously can't be a designer , any memory of learning to draw reminds me of my Arts teacher reprimanding me with a "this woman you've drawn looks like a maid servant" I had actually thought that 'so isn't she a woman as well'.. but had kept mum..
I would've been a relation fixer if only I had had a relation of my own to begin with ,.. in my dreams I am a girl who cares a lot about how she looks  and is naturally blessed with healthy skin and hair .. who has had one boyfriend in school , one in college and now with the love of her life .. (not mentioning a certain Avantika who dated Ranbir Kapoor in school and Imran Khan in college .. oh yeah!)
Like  I once said to a sympathetic friend who said I could get anyone and even probably lend her one "yaha meri gadi ka loan pass nahi hua hai , aur tu mujhse petrol mang rahi hai??"

In another world , I would have done some solid aish on my parents money .. shopped till I dropped without feeling an ounce of guilt ,.. but woe be gone! I can't remember a single time when I didnt feel guilty about using my parents' money.. even when  I was in college ..  I wish I could switch off the guilt thing .. which forced me to be such a realist .. *sigh*
I would've driven a DDLJ wala red car .. which I love so much, and while driving I wouldn't have to wear contact lenses (which are oh-so-difficult to get because I have cyndrical power of  180 degrees) because my eyesight will be perfect ..

and I could eat pepperoni pizza everyday ..... *I die whenever I think of a happy pizza .. yummm*

But most of all , in my dreams I am always with my parents ( unlike reality where I have to stay apart because I want to prove my mettle) , bestest of friends and we have loads of fun ( unlike reality where friends and me have to go here and there is search of better jobs/education)  and all of us stay together .

Dreams are hard to fulfill and its harder to completely squash them, so the midway is to dream while you can , to wish while you hope , because you never really know as they say," Careful what you wish for coz you just might get it" :)

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Marriage or Not

I have exactly 2 minutes to write this post because then it will be "get ready for office time".
Anyhoo, I have asked my poor parents to look for a match for me after 5 months , 5 months because I hope to become somewhat beautiful by then .

My Parents meanwhile had thought of accepting a boyfriend as their damaad, and since like many other dreams which I have crashed this will be another one in the line. Yes I have been single forever and proposal count = 0 . For the guys who are reading this , yes girls do keep a proposal count , ha ha !

anyway, but I don't really wanna get married  even though I know its inevitable.
On one hand marriage would mean giving up the chance of becoming something dashing, of probably working in a city like New York or something , of meeting someone "interesting"
and on the other hand it would mean finally settling down with someone who would provide me roots and I would do the same to that person.Someone who will support my dreams and whose dreams I will nurture.

I don't think people like me fall in love unless they are wonderfully wooed in filmy style because thats the only way they will understand that someone is in love with them .. he he

and my 2 minutes are up..
I have contentment
- getting ready for another day
in hope of finding mind numbing happiness :)

Saturday, December 8, 2012

I am tired of staring at the chicken curry - rice photo in my previous post and hence this post.

When I started writing , I wrote in sms language, then somebody pointed it out and  I rectified .
I said that I won't call myself a writer because I don't want to sound like those "pseudo-intellectuals" . Heart of heart I wanted to be a la Bridget Jones, but sadly neither am I English nor do I have a Hugh Grant around.
Read other people's blogs , found quite a few of them silly and childish and still commented on them.
Even though I failed to understand what was so good in them that they got 50-60 comments..(though some perfectly good ones get that many too)

Comments :- something which drove us all at some or the other point. Someone's comment made me feel good , but then again , what does it matter , I should comment only if I like to not if I want that person to come  back and read my blog.
This give-and-take everywhere is seriously too much to deal with...

I don't think I want to publish my posts in Facebook anymore .. the more you think about the people who are reading you, the more u write what they wanna read than what you really want to write.

and then of course , there's this constant problem of thoughts dwindling away.. you sit there to write something ,complete 2-3 paragraphs and then completely phase out .. and don't know how to end it ..

Most importantly, the people to whom I connected most emotionally in this blog world have left or are almost dormant, so what is there really? In all of it? Moreover, why should I put my life out there? people read, they forget, I read them and I forget too ..and yet I can't quit because there's some feel good thing in jotting down what you think  , mostly because I wouldn't be able to tell it all to somebody.

And that's how this cookie crumbles , also, I am just going to go without any titles now .. they just spoil the whole laziness attitude I have here ,,,,,

- for the lack of words,

Monday, September 10, 2012

Ghar ka Khana

Arahar ki daal, bhindi ki sabzi, barish ke mausam ki wo khichdi with fish fry, ghar wali chicken curry *slurp slurp* , lauki ki sabzi , wo green wali sag with aloo ,mutton biriyani, aloo posto, ghar wali kadhi, rajma chawal , that thick mutton curry , pomfret fish ki wo green wali curry , anda chop made with keema , keema curry , liver curry , gobhi mutter wali sabzi, baked gobhi, mummy wali macaroni, even the simple ghee-rice .. every food made in home has  a special meaning and even now I can feel that aroma and the smile with which my mother served all of them.

Bhindi ki Sabzi
Ghar ke khane ki to baat hi alag hai , especially for all of us who have been living outside our homes and know how precious the title of the post is to us .

chicken curry with rice
Bengali me ek kahawat hai "hade hade bujheche" (which means even her bones are understanding)
People say that if you like eating good food then you can also cook good food but mere sath problem ye hui that everyone in my family is a great cook.
If I wanted some breakfast I would ask my dad and he makes the most delicious omelletes and fries and bread dishes and there I would have it, my mom can practically make anything in the world and with loads of that thing called love it tastes nothing less than scrumptious :) and then jab sham ko bhook lagti thi then my brother is our very own hors devours chef and he would make the most delicious sandwiches :)
So you see I never really had to learn any cooking myself.  *hade hade bujheche*

hilsa fish curry
 Its been almost two years that I've been living outside home and its only recently that I've just started cooking.... and thats when I realized that its just not the same as what my mom makes .. infact its not the same anywhere except in ghar ..chahe food courts me bhi kitna hi na likh de "Home Style Chicken" wo home jaisa thodei na hota hai !!
 Even though many of us may know how to cook a good meal .. but really,even then its never the same ..
Ghar ke Khane me jo correct mithas, correct salt, correct of everything hota hai wo aur kahi nahi hota hai.

I remember how when we used to be kids in some remote corner of the world mummy would bake birthday cakes for us.. aah those were the most delicious ones.. my particular favorite was the one where she made a chocolate cake and designed it with gems, how she would make paneer for me whenever she would get a chance to (because my dad never liked it , so it was made specially for me ) , how she still makes that delicious custard ( of which i made a  very runny version once :(  ) , how whenever it would rain she would start frying all the spices for the khichdi :) , one of the moments which I remember very fondly is one where on a hot sunny day I came back from school to find her  waiting for me with dahi cheeni ... even that simple dish tasted no less than Amrit-Ras because of the gesture it was made with.

 aaaah those were the days , with so less to worry about and only thinking and asking "Ma Whats for lunch and Whats for dinner " :) :)

Dal Roti
I hope that by the time my children grow up we have some super fast sonic food delivery system where I cook the food and instantaneously it reaches their microwave or whatever they have in that zamana .
And by then if I am able to cook even half of what my mom cooks I will consider myself truly blessed :)

Ab bhaiyya, dieting-shieting,exercising-swimming sab thik hai , but when I go home I tell my mom sab banao main sab kuch khaungi and that I do without any tension or thoughts about calories , kyuki Ghar ke Khane se to sirf fayda hota hai nuksan nahi :)

Lauki cooked with prawn
Rounding off things , I feel that one of the major things which binds us so much to our homes is the food. Ghar ka Khana is such a real and tangible example of the love which our family showers on us.
 However much we roam around the world in search of money , success and self,  it is because of this love that we still feel that tug in our hearts to return to our homes time and again .

 Lucky are we to have received this simple undiluted  love at least for some part of our lives .
Lucky are we to have people who miss us so much and whom we miss equally.
Lucky are we that we can return to them and ask for our share of love again :)
Lucky are we to have experienced this magic once in our lifetimes :)

"Food is not only something to fill up our tummies with ,
It is  also something to fill up our hearts with,
It is what enlightens our senses and brings back happy memories of time gone by".

It is with this happy thought that I end this post today and also because I'm feeling hungry after writing so much about food :)

-Stay Hungry,Stay Foolish

Khichdi with fish fry

Friday, August 10, 2012

Mujhe Gussa aa Raha hai

I am in such a bad bad bad mood !
And please sympathetic or "sab thik ho jaega" kinda advice are most not welcome because I hate those!
I am also hating all the cows in the middle of the road (which have suddenly seemed to multiply) and the cowshit everywhere making it hard to distinguish between mud aaanddd there you go cowshit again!!

I hate the small cigarette- bidi shop from where I have to buy eggs.
I hate it how i have to work double for everything that i want.
Average is just not good enough!
studying 6 hours is not enough!
12 hours of work is not enough!
Its never enough for me
whereas less than half of that is always enough for others

I am theees pissed off at people trying to judge my friends.
I hate sade hue dakiyanusi khayals that people still manage to fester in their little brains.
I hate it how people seem happy enough to be carbon copies of their previous generations.
And then I hate it more when such people call me "judgmental".

I hate stupid Baygon spray which doesn't kill mosquitoes!

I hate how my glass of Pepsi smells right now because the maid hasn't washed it properly!
I hate it how they made some dumb movie called "Bridesmaids" and were showing that on a Friday night instead of   Pretty Woman.

I hate it when guys try to question me and ask me if I watch sci-fi movies. arre bhaiyya a movie is a either a good movie or a bad movie . And yes for the nTh time , I have watched all your given Terminator, Armageddon, Evil Dawn and thousands of others which most of you haven't even seen but no I don't go on and ask you if you have seen Bridget Jones. Idiots!!
And yes ,  I still love Pretty Woman.

I am so gussa at my slow - have to connect it 10 times  per minute net speed!! There is nothing more irritating than typing a whole page of something and losing it to "Page not Found"

I am super angry for this stupid season of BBT , and I miss F.R.I.E.N.D.S dearly. I don't even know what's happened to my Grey's Anatomy :(

I hate it when I say something totally right and guys with big egos label me as "Feminist", even if its something as innocuous as "There's nothing wrong if a girl wants to work". Bloody inferiority complex wale people!

I hate it that I every time my salary seems like a pittance. By the 10th of each month I am like left with nothing but the basic amount.

I hate it how everyone can be cool about everything and I can't ! Is it because I have some extra long "feeling " tentacles or what!

I hate it how I am getting fatter by the day and cant even go swimming (because of work or rains)
I hate the moisture in my house , its just damp , damp and more damp everywhere!

I hate it how people have become intolerant and rude. Its like the word "tact" doesn't exist anymore.

And now it seems that even if I fight hard, in the end I will end up not getting what I want.
That is the part which I hate the most.
Its like a vicious cycle here.
"What I want the most, I Shall get not
What I never thought about,  I shall get in heaps."

And please anyone with sympathetic comments should stop right there , coz Haters Gonna Hate and you cant change the way I feel right now. You can of course join in with your own hate (unless you have the rainbow sticking out of your you know where)

The only thing which I do seem to like after writing this whole lot of crap is I,Me and Myself.
I do what I want and the way I want . Don't know why some people think they have to live their life according to my rules and when they can't they just turn around on me and literally jump on my face!

 I don't care about sounding like a vain kid here but yes, I don't care about you unless you dont care about me! There you go!

Anyway as I was saying .. this venting is actually making me feel good. Anger is such a strong emotion that if you don't let it out, it pretty much builds up a steam to burst your head  & even after facing all  of this , if I am writing here and have lived according to my rules then I have done pretty much allright. *hold head high up and walks away*

P.S : At this moment , without any silly considerations , I hate it when people are reading this and being lazy and not commenting! Some people actually wait for others to comment. bhai sahab har jagah copy paste nahi chalta! So if you are here, then VENT OUT!!

Sunday, July 29, 2012

I wish love followed the same rules as maths

Why are people breaking up?

I used to think that love is a candy filled land where every thing is rose tinted and comes covered in gloss... but Kristen Stewart (Bella) ke dhoke ne to meri aankhein hi khol di!!

yaar ! She had Edward and she cheated on him!!  Pehle maine socha.. aisa koi karta hai kya .. is she mad .. I mean c'mon yaar unka 3 saal ka acha khasa live-in relationship chal raha tha ..
All through my college life I have seen people going madly berserk over them, that how they were the epitome of a perfect couple .. gadi bangla mansion swimming pool, heck they even had a pet wolf.. sab kuch to tha unke paas. Just like the famous Raj  once said "chemistry , biology, physics jo chahiye hota hai sab hi to hai " .. but dekho ab kya se kya ho gaya!!!

Even in the movie, Cocktail, the Saif guy was sleeping and living in with Deepika , but it just didn't matter to them. But why? How can such things have no meaning. Where did these people come from and from when did people start becoming so frivolous?

Nahi nahi, main senti nahi ho rahi hu ye soch ke that hayy bechare R Patz ka ab kya hoga, kaise jeeyega,kaha jaega .. I know for sure that he will jump back into the love bandwagon   as soon as he finds the next expressionless bimbette.... but what all of this has got me thinking is that why do people really break up?

Recently , I came across a term -- > "non-serious couple".
By definition, this  is a type of couple who don't really relate to each other, they know that a breakup is unavoidable in the future and  yet what keeps their so called "relation" going is the  incessant "flirting" and most probably the fear of the "single" status. The moment they find greener pastures they run to it forgetting what had once been.
By now some of you must be thinking "what do you know ... spectators don't count.. you gotta run your own race first"
But I am quite sure that you must've seen at least one such couple like this in your lifetime and if you are yourself in one such relationship .. then you probably are understanding what exactly I am trying to say  :D :D

Another thing which had piqued my curiosity of late is “flirting”or “isharee”.  What is this art of flirting, flitting your eyes,crinkling your nose,puckering your mouth.. or just sending some vibes (ishare) across.... This ishara thing always reminds me of two atoms wanting to bond together , or as cocoa programmers would say "its like an object sending a notification to its delegate" .

So, you give some ishara, flirt a little, have a look into the inner person and it happens? Stars burst , pink colored smoke surrounds you and everything falls by itself into place?

and I guess then it happens .* THE BIG BANG!* and suddenly they realize that time's up and they are not in love anymore...

Is that the way the roulette rolls ? Is it all attraction or does cupid really exist?

I am already so fed up of the whole charade .. I mean why even try .. and if you have to try so hard for something which was not even meant to be ,... bhagwan bachaye hume...
I guess there are no explanations for why people behave in such a way , but it just makes me sick to see them like this .

This love thing should be so easy that people should just have a look at each other and know who is right for them. And if they are still in-waiting then they shouldn't go for the emotionless stuff.

Yaar log kabse aise ho gaye .. it kind of takes out my vishwas on humanity .,..

I see so many of the good people around me heart broken .. and many of the silly ones living happily ever after .. 

 Then again, I also see the few lucky ones and guess maybe they too had their heart broken once for someone to stitch it back together. They probably had it in them to go out and find the real thing.

As I wrap up this post, I realize that I am far from dissecting the topic I had started.
I wish love followed some rules or conditions, then everything would be so simple 'coz then everyone could apply them and get the solution right.
But one thing is clear, whether right or wrong, its high time we realize that ye dil hai dil koi khilona nahi hai, ki aap soch lo ki koi bhi chal jaega .. thoda dhyan rakhe yaar ..after all ,apna hi to hai :) :)

Thursday, July 12, 2012

My Incidents with Animals

The idea for this post came to me one day when "boasting" about my animal skills to a friend.
It was more like recounting horrific incidents with the non-human kind but nevertheless thought of writing about it so that everyone could know about my Tom-Jack-Tiger-Sheru-foolery.

Meanwhile , I should warn you that I have this recurring punar-janam kind of sapna where a dog keeps on chasing me till I fall of a mountain cliff!!! Yes ! This sapna comes to me atleast once a year , in which I actually undergo the falling-off action and fall on my roomie instead!

Starting Off with the funny incidents Now ! *raises flag*...

Incident 1 : There's this place in Kolkata called Victoria Memorial, where you can do various things .
Bade log go there to hold hands and stuff . Chote log go with parents kinda people and shoot balloons, eat phuchka,drink shikanji and *holds breath* ride horses.
So I was in class 6 and had gone there with ma and pa for some phuchka when suddenly a guy comes , picks me up and places me on a ghoda and tells it to run. He tells my parents " arre madam sab bache jate hai " To my mom's surprise the horse starts galloping away on full speed with little ammu holding on to it.
She immediately tells the horse guy "arre bhaiyaa dekhoo!!!! ghoda bhaag gayaaaa".(excuse the hindi).
To which the ghoda-wala nonchalantly replies " koi baat nai madam, ye ghoda andha hai, idhar udhar daudega fir to ruk hi jaega".

Incident 2 : This was when I was slightly grown up and seemingly unafraid of the world and also in Class 11
(you know the time when you think waahhh! class 10 to nikal gaya and 12 aane me 1 saal baki hai beta :P :D) So, I had recently learnt to whistle a full song ( I'd been trying to learn whistling since class 2) and it was late night. Late because I used to have tuitions at 8pm in my colony.. so as I was returning I was like full on whistling and suddenly hear footsteps behind me and with an overactive imagination like mine it wasn't hard to imagine a man wearing a black coat and hat following me. But when I turned to my dismal , it was actually a kuttaa following me! And thats when I started running and it started running behind me .. my instinct was to actually climb a tree, but since no climbable tree was there.. i go straight into a building and pushed the lift button. But alas! the lift was stuck on the 3rd floor,leaving no option but to run to  the 3rd flr, get inside the lift, and wait for a good 15 mins before coming out. The dog is gone and the day is saved . *taa daaaaa*.

Incident 3 : I am sure most of us have had this one, still writing about it as a tip for those who haven't had it.
**Tip** : Hold on tightly to your sandwich and I say do not just do not let it go, however large the eagle/crow might be , just fight it off, unless of course you are someone with small fingers and have the danger of your fingers being chomped off with the sandwich.
And yes that's what I was doing, protecting moi hand rather than what "people" say that I was looking in the opposite direction with the bread hanging JLT from my hand. huh!

I guess three incidents are more than enough to keep you happy, btw do not mistake me for an animal hater, I love animals and am all with PETA (though in a very non-vegetarian way). In fact I do love dogs, but only the pet ones and the ones that are mine and hate dog killers (read: people who cant differentiate between dogs and roads). No really , believe me , I'v had 2 lovely dogs whom I still miss a lot :)
I just thought that everyone has their own incident with an animal , plz feel free to share them here , would love to hear about them :D :D

- Signing off

P.S : do a search in Google with "crow with sandwich images" and get ekdum yucky images!!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

The romantic side

abhi abhi to zindagi shuru hui hai
abhi na karo tham jane ki baat.

hum to haare, mahiya re
moonde naina, neend tihare :)

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Start of the Middle

Age, I seriously used to think , was just a number. And that was before I realized that I would turn a quarter of a century in about a 2 months.
The "realization" came today, while having my regular shaam ki coffee, and discussing why aries and cancerians are not the ideal match whe, my friend asked me my birthday. 26th June.. yes , its arriving and fast.

Its like a chant shot through my head "Turning 25th, This 26th"

catchy huh? Maybe could it be useful to some ad guy running through 'these blog shogs'.

25 is the middle of turning 50.
50 is the age when you ought to be well into your way to prosperity, have had 2 or 3 kids (all grown up) ,going off to college, your home is all set ,your car is tuned just the way you like it and finally you can claim to know your partner (mann mann me you know its almost 75%) in and out.

So, 25 is the beginning of the middle.

Flitting between work , home and trying to learn a thousand new ways of growing up, the age factor skips you.You know that 2 years back you were in college and haven't probably done much of growing up , one day you were meeting up with the H.O.D discussing frantically about some ATMEG microcontroller and the next day you are meeting up with you Team Lead , deciding what your future initiatives will be.

You tell me , where is the difference?

And then there are some people who squash your ego daily and you learn how to deal with it.
Then there are some more, who love you to no ends and you learn how to love them back (though in an off handish cool manner). Then you learn , how to brush apart "stuff" , cry some tears , have some fun and get over with it and again face the day with a new you.

25 is when you stop taking most things to heart, and know how to keep it straight.
You realize that though there are many things undone ( that sport you had learn, that Masters degree you wished to complete, that guy you had to date , those whole new possibilities which sound a bit stale now), there are still lots to do .

Though this time on , one has much less time that before. And then I think, are those things achievable, or should I just settle for something which will be just achievable and wont put the burden of thoughts on me again.
Be Happy with what I have? Or yearn to have more and more (of me?)

Is it enough (or really required) to follow the path your thoughts paved or is it time to make another one (yet again) .

The start of the middle tells you how time is flying .

I did not think that I would be what I am when I was 13 , and yet I feel smug. If I met Amrita Age 14 , I would be kind to her :)

Is it time to pick up the pieces and assemble them ? Or break the vase , stow away the flowers and start with some fresh coffee.

So yes things didn't quite turn up the way you (yes the Utopian you) thought would and neither does it show any signs of being such.

But there are new motivations, satisfactions and things to derive from and somehow these "things" seem better options. ( who knows I might someday write atleast almost like a certain Durjoy Dutta, haha)

Maybe life is but a Piece Of Cake, nice, moist, spongy and with the bitterness of chocolate.
We know it makes us fat, but what the heck is a lil bit of cholesterol , if its so lovely while it lasts.

I already feel invigorated.

And its only 25 right ? Who says I wont be hot at 50 ;)

Friday, March 9, 2012

Rolling In The Deep

"We could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside of your hand

And you played it, to the beat"


Linkin Park

Monday, January 2, 2012

Ooooh Main to Moti ho gayi!

The truth is that I never ever cared about being mota or patla.
jab main bachhi thi then mere relatives bolte the "beta kuch to kha le kuch to kha le, tere gaal gol gol ho jayenge ".
and I ate , I ate rosogullas , cakes , sizzlers , but to no avail.

Fir maine socha ki bhaiyya main to model banungi :D Tall dark and svelte ;)
But afsos, bachpan me jo height lambi lagdi thi , wo sali badhe hokar bhi same reh gayi .. hayyy ..

So I said koi nahi Ammu, hum to padhaku bache hai jo badhe hoke saxy ban jate hai :P

Fir , last year I joined mera job and came to know about my unhindered culinary skills (read dial and order).My love for pizza saw new dimensions when I came to know about the delicious pizzas @ 50/- wale offers :D aaay haayy every saturday sunday pizza and CCD ke brownies ke to kya kehne ... aur aisa hi chalta gaya .... for 6 months

and then suddenly out of the blue ------ "Ooooh Main to Moti ho gayi!"

Even then I didnt care ... arre life me to bhaiyya khao peeo aish karo :D

But then came The Vizag Trip and a Waterfall , waterfall pe chadhte chadhte to ho gayi meri OH MY GOD!!

and that is when I made this new year resolution To Finally Be Fit!!

Agenda 2012 :

I hate it when I go to a gym and have to run on a treadmill and my stupid hands are hanging side me :x ..... mano bhagwan ne meri sun li and achanak se mujhe ek skipping rope mil gaya!!!
(*boasts* The only races which I ever won were skipping races :D). Bass ab se I will do skipping everyday and be STRONG :D

Next in agenda is to give up my adorable , delicious babies -- Pizzas .
Those who are anjan from my Pizza love can view this post.

*cries uncontrollably at the separation*

But what must be done has to be done .

*takes deep breath and announces* My New year Resolution is to be like this :-

OK OK aankhein fadne ki zaroorat nahi hai , I will be something like :-

So here's wishing you a VERY HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR

khao peeo aish karo :) :) :D :D :) :) :D :D :) :)

p.s :- aaj egg chicken roll ke samne control nahi ho paya .. but kal se PROMISE!